We don’t have a video monitor for my son’s room. I thought they were a neat idea, but unnecessary. And expensive. So, we passed. This was a huge mistake.
My son went down for his morning nap today and after 20 minutes or so of silence, I decided it was safe for me to go take my shower. I long ago gave up on the hope of being able to squeeze in a hurried shower first thing in the morning and I now opt for a longer, more relaxing, me-time shower during naptime. I cherish this time.
Knowing that I hadn’t dressed my son in anything more than a onesie today I first thought it was wise to take a peek on him and make sure he was under his blanket. I didn’t want him to wake prematurely because he got cold. I walked over to his room and ever so slowly turned his doorknob. The damn thing sticks, so sometimes if you go really, really slowly, you can creep in without making too much noise.
I entered his room and saw him in his usual pose, face down, legs tucked under his butt, like he had fallen asleep sitting up and fallen forward. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in his first year of life, it’s this: NEVER attempt to reposition a sleeping child. It’s not worth it. They will always wake up. Since this seems to be his new favorite sleep position, I let this one go. He was only half covered but probably warm enough. However, since I had made it this far, I grabbed the blanket and repositioned it over him.
Then, I noticed he was watching me. My heart sunk. I was screwed, and I knew it. I hastily backed out of the room and pulled the door to, not daring to fully close it. But it was too late. He sat up and started screaming for me. I stood outside his room cursing like a sailor and berating myself for my stupidity. Why did I have to go check on him first?
I made the usual attempts to get him back to sleep. Breastfeeding. Rocking. Walking around the room. Bouncing. I knew it was futile when he started trying to bat me in the face while smiling at me. He was too awake.
But darn it, I wanted a shower. I was feeling icky and in desperate need of cleansing. And no awake baby was going to stop me. I resorted to begging.
The little guy actually found this funny and started giggling. Actual, bone fide laughter. I swear he understood what I was saying. This was his way of telling me, “Nice try, sucker!”
I admitted defeat on naptime. I carried him into my bedroom, closed the door behind me, and walked into the master bathroom. Sitting him on the floor, I started the shower and got undressed. He immediately rushed over the bathtub, fascinated by the shower.
So anxious was I to get under the hot water, I literally stepped over him to get into the tub. I pulled the shower curtain shut in front of him and let the warm water run over my head. Then I felt something grabbing at my leg. My son was trying to break through the shower curtain.
He soon discovered that he could peek at me better if he grabbed the edge of the curtain by the wall. When I opened my eyes after rinsing conditioner out of my hair, I saw the shower curtain had been pulled back enough that I was soaking the floor, my son and my pile of clothes. Great.
At that point, I decided my son was probably safer in the tub with me. At least, the bathroom was safer. I hastily undressed and de-diapered him and brought him in with me. He did not care for the shower.
I even turned down the temperature as I tend to like my shower very hot. He was quite mad that water was landing on his head and back. *sigh* I turned off the shower.
I grabbed a towel for Sammy and dried him off. I let him run around naked for a few minutes while I dried off and got redressed. I figured a little airing out would do him good. You know how on an airplane in the event of an emergency you should secure your mask first, then help your child? I soon learned that this order of operation does not apply in everyday life when you’re dealing with a naked child.
There was a good reason that for the first year of his life he was rarely naked. As I was getting dressed, I stuck my head out of the door to check on him. And I saw it. The trail of pee. The trail of pee from the bathroom door to his current position.
And, I saw that determined look in his eye. I watching him assume the position. And right there in the middle of my bedroom floor he pooped. Little brown pellets. I knew I had no choice. I had to wait and let him do it. There was no way I was going to pick him up and rush him to the bathroom, think of the mess had we been in motion! I did NOT need a fly-by pooping! (I will spare you the drawing for that one)
Now, I knew that being a mother of a young child, I was not going to be immune. There was going to be a couple of times I was going to find myself wiping up nasty things from the floor. I just wasn’t ready. Not yet. We’re not potty training. The messes are supposed to come then, right?
I hastily wiped up the mess but I was grossed out. Even with the mess gone, I still know it was there. My floor needs a good mopping. Thank goodness I have hardwood.
You know what this all comes down to? A video monitor. Had I seen him wrapped up and sleeping, I would have left well enough alone. And I wouldn’t be spending my afternoon sanitizing my bedroom floor.
Has this ever happened to you?
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OMG, I laughed out loud through the entire post. Too funny! Loved it!
Thanks, Rose. I’ll have to remind myself to keep his diapers’ securely fastened when you come to visit.
OMG this has happened to me SO MANY TIMES! The times I accidentally woke up by trying to cover him, check on him, move his awkward sleeping position.
Oh and the naked thing? Yes, it’s happened to me. I used to leave him on the bed to ‘air’ his er, diaper area for a few minutes and he’s peed and pooped. On. The. Bed. My. Bed.
When we moved him to his own room, we installed a camera. Best thing ever. Oh and now he’s 2, he actually runs away from me when I try to diaper him. He’s peed on the living room floor, kitchen floor, bedroom floor…..
Children are so fun!
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..My 2-Year Old Baby
Oh man! The bed? LOL, they really know how to get you, don’t they?
I think we’re going to be getting a camera soon, anything to make life just that little bit easier.
A cheap solution might be a wireless webcam or skype from his room to you, have it running in the background.
The first time my daughter had an accident I did the “flying poo” maneuver, the good news (sorta) was that it startled her so much she never poo’d without a diaper on, or if she wasn’t over the potty, again. The bad news was the trail o’ yuckiness. Nature’s Miracle works great
My husband, being the technological geek he is, is looking into the type of video monitor that syncs to your iphone. Oy vey. A wireless webcam is a pretty good, (and much simpler!) idea though. Thanks for the suggestion.
LOL, good to know about Nature’s Miracle! I’ll have to pick some up for future incidents, oh I know they’re coming.
We didn’t buy the video monitor either and I definitely wish we had one now. I can tell whether or not Addie is going to go down while crying depending on whether she is lying or standing. Peeking in is NOT an option!!!
Yeah, peeking usually backfires for me. I have to be absolutely sure that Sammy is already asleep. It really sucks when I’m wrong! But, damn do I want to peek in sometimes!
Why don’t babies like showers? I’ve attempted the shower thing too. My mommy friend has a video cam thing and when her stinks doesn’t want to go down he looks directly at the camera and throws his paci at it and then proceeds to have a meltdown.
It just goes to prove that kids are smarter than us. They certainly have their ways!
Ahh, yeah… I tried begging Fynn to sleep on a few recent early mornings (3:00-4:00!). She didn’t laugh, she scolded me in baby gibberish for quite a while.
Shan recently posted..The Old Homestead
I know all too well the baby gibberish in the wee hours. It’s usually followed by being climbed on. During the day, the gibberish is the cutest thing. In the middle of the night, it’s the worst. sound. ever. It guarantees me 30-60 minutes of pacing, bouncing, begging, praying and (silently) cussing.
Laughing through this whole post! Just last week, I took off HJ’s diaper to throw him in the tub. I got side tracked and he jumped onto the coffee table and started peeing…like a little fountain…while spinning. AHH!
HAHAHAHAHA, oh my. I laughed so hard at that image. That’s much worse than a fly-by pooping!
Oh you poor, poop cleaning woman. Mine had a “poop in the tub” phase for a while. There was a lot of “Grab the rod and reel, honey! We’ve got some fishing to do!” Yegh.
Meredith Bland recently posted..Cuz we are living in a material world.
We’ve only had the poop in the tub once, and he was really young then so it was extremely messy. Dissipating poop gets everywhere! But still, I much prefer the bath experience to be poop free. I love the fishing analogy! Haha!
Geez, did I really just use the word poop 4 times? How life changes…
Poop.
Sorry. Had to.
Oh, gracious. They are awful, awful, awful little mess makers. I wish I could tell you it gets better as they get older, but I’d be lying.
We are (hopefully) wrapping up a week of the tummy bug in this house, so I’ve got a little poop PTSD going on over here and *might* be leaning toward the dramatic.
But still. They are nasty little punks. Nasty.
Tricia O. recently posted..Charleston Restaurant Week(end) round up
Haha, Tricia, you crack me up!
And yes, I’m fully expecting the mess-to-age ratio to be on an upwards trend.
Oh, how I remember doing the nap-check-in thing and regretting it afterwards! If I ever have another baby, I will definitely get the monitor with the camera for sure!
Anna recently posted..Get Your Coupon For Whole Grain Cereal from General Mills!
It’s beginning to look like nap checks are a universally bad idea and yet we can’t help ourselves! What is wrong with us??
You could always just put a peephole in the door..
Cameras are not that expensive, especially if you go the surveillance camera route, and not the overpriced baby monitor route.. An IP camera would let you use your laptop/phone to keep an eye on him..
have you tried putting on a recording of a really boring lecture? or surf sounds?