Dear Husbands, Daddies, future Daddies, and men in general,
We all have heard the phrase that men and women are from two different planets. I don’t think it’s possible for us to fully understand each other, but we compromise. We reach understandings, we gain mutual respect for one another and begin to predict how the other will act in certain situations.
Once you have a baby and that all goes out the window. The women become insane. Absolutely friggin’ nuts. I feel I’m qualified to say this since I am a woman. I’m living proof.
Once that baby pops out (actually, I suppose even before) we women become creatures we don’t even recognize anymore. We’ve surrendered our minds and bodies to a tiny little human. We become obsessed with them. We develop an irrational fear that something horrific will happen to them if we’re not there. And that fear turns us a little crazy.
Please don’t blame us. We just want what’s best for our offspring. And, we haven’t had a lot of sleep. How nice are you when you’re sleep deprived? The best course of action is to hold on for the ride. Oh, and go along with what we say.
I know you mean well, but there’s something about us you need to understand. There isn’t a minute of the day that goes by that we’re not thinking about our children. We never really have down-time. And it’s exhausting.
Next time you’re watching your child, you may be thinking this:
Please understand, that although you mean well, we are probably thinking this:
When you’ve given the baby a bath, this is what you see:
And this is what we see:
We have to learn that we cannot do it all, but we certainly try in the beginning. It drains us. It makes us grumpy. Eventually, we give up and we get used to the house looking disheveled most of the time. But in the beginning, after leaving the bathroom like the above picture, you’d better hide.
We have very different standards.
When it’s slightly cold outside, maybe even a light breeze, this is how we would dress a child:
This is how you would dress the child:
You don’t understand us. We don’t understand you. But, one thing you will come to learn, whether or not you understand it is that this is what your nights will look like:
Because after we’ve been grabbed, poked, clung to, and sucked on all day, the only thing we want is to be left alone. We promise it will get better in the future. You just have to be patient. Good luck.
Enjoy the ride.
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